The party (and The RealReal) is on Substack
Honoring the festive clothing I wore, pre-kids, when life was one big party
Clothing consignment retailer The RealReal and I have a history, which is what makes them joining Substack at the same time as me all the more fitting. As lifestyle brands continue to recognize the value of Substack, I suspect more people will soon be joining this party. This was echoed by Feed Me’s Emily Sundberg, who I’ve also recently come to learn is a Substack superstar. (I know, I know. I’m fashionably late to all of this.) For those still getting to know me, allow me to explain. I’ve had my hands full over the last handful of years.
Since Substack first launched in 2017…. I:
became pregnant
gave birth to a little girl named Miss Evan
learned she had a rare disease
became a medical mom
wrote profiles and personal essays I am proud of for the L.A. Times, etc.
launched a lifestyle platform called TheRetaility.com featuring profiles on Taylor Jenkins Reid, Constance Zimmer, Amanda Kloots, Josie Maran, etc.
fought to get an official diagnosis for Miss Evan
went through IVF
went through an IVF transfer that didn’t take
gave birth to a little boy
mourned the loss of my daughter, who passed away at three-and-a-half years old
threw myself into my newborn son’s joy without taking a beat to reflect on the grief portion of my reality… until now…
WELCOME TO JOYFUL GRIEF. This Substack is for anyone looking for a place to:
laugh
cry
read between the subtext of life
indulge in the occasional celebrity story or fashion/beauty moment — because that’s the biz I work in — and we all need a bit of nonsense to distract us.
Which leads me back to The RealReal. And our history.
Long before having children… Before even realizing I wanted children… When all of my other friends (at the time) in their late twenties were having children…
I was a fashion and party writer for outlets like WWD and InStyle. (Circa Barack Obama when the Hope poster didn’t feel like a distant memory.) I covered everything from a Paul McCartney event at his daughter Stella’s boutique to Sir Elton John’s annual Oscar party. The job was meant to be a stepping stone. But somehow, I wound up on a fancy hampster wheel without taking inventory of my life.
I had, however, taken inventory of my wardrobe and realized in order to succeed, I needed to look the part. On a journalist’s budget.
Enter The RealReal. My best girlfriend at the time — one of the many who’d already embarked on motherhood — had taken a position with the start-up company when it first launched in 2011. She was one of only a handful of employees. Her job was to source high-end hand-me-downs from the rich and famous for resale on the website.
My friend — who has since become notable in her own right thanks to her home organization company, which also has shows on ABC and Netflix — would give me a heads up whenever they listed a to-die-for dress in my size, which is how I wound up with multiple Zac Posen pieces from Paula Abdul’s wardrobe as well as a gorgeous red satin Dolce & Gabbana cocktail dress from Miranda Kerr’s stylist’s closet. I got a lot of mileage out of those looks for nearly ten years. (That’s the benefit of quality pieces and favoring timeless taste.)
Eventually, I outgrew them. Physically and metaphorically. At 34, I remember trying to squeeze into a form-fitting, blue floral dress — intended for a twenty-something — just one week after giving birth to my daughter to take family photos.
As if fitting into the dress meant it still fit into my lifestyle.
I was determined to make. it. work.
Not fitting into a dress would soon be the least of my concerns as life unfolded.
Four months into being a new mom, my daughter landed in the hospital. (You can read about that in detail in this Variety piece if you want to learn more.) We were told doctors suspected she had an extremely rare mitochondrial disease that couldn’t have been detected prenatally.
Our lives were upended in every unimaginable way.
It took time but I eventually found my rhythm as a medical mom. I also found that getting dressed up — even with nowhere to go or between trips to the pharmacy — was both an act of circumstantial rebellion as well as a form of self-care.
As time went on, a few of my former The RealReal purchases began to fit me — and my lifestyle — once more. I’d wear them to the occasional Hollywood outing. They were fewer and far between — but served as a reminder of the importance of getting dressed, getting out, and celebrating life whenever possible.
Sure, I’ve since outgrown most of those dresses. Just as their previous owners did. But unlike Paula Abdul or Miranda Kerr, I’m not yet ready to let them go. After all, they each still represent a piece of me. And a moment of carefree hedonism in my life.
Despite my family’s complicated journey, I would choose Evan all over again. I can’t imagine not knowing her. I’m forever grateful to have been in her orbit, and — believe it or not — I prefer this period of life. Even so, every now and then, it’s nice to revisit life before kids. And the clothing I once wore.
So, welcome, The RealReal. I promise to let you know when I’m ready to consign my old party dresses. But in the meantime, welcome to this party.