What happens when a podcaster references your late daughter?

The Toast's Claudia Oshry and her sister Jackie Oshry inadvertently mentioned our beautiful daughter, Miss Evan, without knowing her full story. Here are the details...

Our beautiful Miss Evan was inadvertently referenced during “The Toast,” an entertainment and gossip podcast with Claudia Oshry and her sister Jackie Oshry.

“I wonder if Michael Buckner’s daughter is a toaster…” the Oshrys wondered aloud. It was an innocuous statement. For those who don’t know my family.

Those who do… cringed.

But my first thought was, “What is a toaster?” I wasn’t familiar with their podcast. Since then, I’ve learned the Oshrys have amassed quite a following over the last handful of years thanks to social media. The show has 339k followers on Instagram; while the hosts each have 350k and 3.1 million loyalists.)

So. People were listening. Even if I wasn’t.

Michael — and, thus, Miss Evan — came up during a segment discussing Lady Gaga and HGTV’s Christina Haack. One host confused a photo byline with the photo subject’s name. Lady Gaga is engaged to an entrepreneur named Michael Polansky while Christina Haack has a new boyfriend named Chris Larocca. Apparently, Michael photographed one of them at some point — and as they were discussing the image, they referenced Michael as Christina Haack’s new guy.

Once they realized their mistake, it became a cute running bit between them while discussing other people and topics.

Here’s a transcript of the lighthearted convo:

Claudia: So, it's the seven husbands of Christina Haack.

Jackie: You know who else I was thinking that about recently? Who weirdly always has a man even though like I wouldn't have put her in that box. Lady Gaga.

Claudia: Oh yeah. 'Cause we saw him last night and that was not what I was expecting.

Jackie: Lady Gaga always has a man but you would think she'd be like the independent type, not really in a relationship. And she's like low key always in a committed relationship.

Claudia: So they were spotted at the LA airport together and they're jetting off in a romantic getaway to Paris.

Jackie: Yeah. They were spotted first together in October.

Claudia: His name is Michael Buckner. He has a professional headshot. So what does that mean?

Jackie: Wait, I'm looking at Chris Larocca.

Claudia: Oh wait, am I on an old article there? I mean there's so many articles. I literally, I literally searched And there no, wait, February 2nd, 2025.

Jackie: Christina Haack spotted kissing new boyfriend Chris Larocca.

Claudia: Wait, wait, are you on People Magazine? Yeah.

Jackie: February 2nd, 2025.

Claudia: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, who's this guy?

Jackie: Oh. The photo was taken by Michael Buckner. That's the credit.

Claudia: That's the photo credit for Variety.

Jackie: Oh that's the photographer. My bad. That's who took the headshot. If anybody who needs a new headshot.

Later in their conversation, they came back to Michael:

Claudia: This headshot by Michael Buckner is also giving legit business person.

Jackie: A thousand percent. Thank you. Michael Buckner. Like that's seriously at a ringing endorsement for you. I'm literally crying of tears coming outta my eyes. I kind of need to do headshot. Should I call that Michael Buckner?

Claudia: I think that you should. Do you think that Michael Buckner knew the day he took this man's photo it was going to change his life?

Jackie: Do you think Michael Buckner's daughter is a toaster?

The hosts’ comments were harmless. They know nothing about Michael. Our family. Or Evan. They host a pop culture podcast discussing entertainment gossip. Yes, I’ve written for People Magazine *about* Evan before. But them stumbling upon that piece is as much of a stretch as me stumbling upon their podcast.

They had no way of knowing Miss Evan died of a rare mitochondrial disease at the age of three and a half. Just as we had no idea this show existed.

And yet… a few people in our lives did. They sent us the episode. I even heard from one of Evan’s favorite nurses, who DMed me, “OMG HAHAHAH. I just finished listening to that episode from yesterday and when they dropped his name I was like wait, I know him! He’s famous on the toast now.”

One of my sister’s friends also texted her about it, but she debated sharing the podcast with me because of the line about our daughter.

Sure, in the moment, the hosts’ words stung.

“Are you okay?” I asked Michael. “I’m okay.”

He was. I was. And we quickly forgot about that moment. I, teasingly, posted on Instagram, “It’s come to my attention that the co-hosts of @thetoast think @bucknerphoto is dating @ladygaga. Just setting the record straight. He isn’t.” I later added, “Correction: They thought he was @christinahaack’s new guy. Also, can’t believe how many notes we got about this.”

Michael and I had a good laugh, then went on with our day.

That night, I had a pizza and pajama party with a close girlfriend. Once her daughter went to bed, I recanted the podcast snafu—then played it for her.

We laughed because there was also a subtle reference to *her* just before they launched into the Michael Buckner bit. (I mean, what were the chances of them mentioning my friend’s book practically in the same breath as my husband?)

We laughed each time they repeated, “MICHAEL BUCKNER.”

“It should be a drinking game,” I joked.

Then, the line I’d completely forgotten about landed.

“I wonder if Michael Buckner’s daughter is a toaster…”

My friend looked shocked. I shrugged it off.

“I didn’t even remember that moment,” I told her. “It’s okay.”

And it is okay… until one day, it isn’t. Which is one big metaphor for how grief and healing and trauma work. Or, at least, how it works for me. I block out the bad. I remember the good. The laughs. The joy. Until it hits.

All the while, casual acquaintances walk on eggshells. They wait for you to mention your loved one. Then, timidly respond to whatever you say. At best. Or they don’t mention them. Ever. For fear of upsetting you. At worst.

But people don’t realize that we—grievers—spend our days YEARNING to hear our loved one’s name. Yearning for an excuse to discuss them. Yearning to keep them alive by keeping their memory alive.

So — thank you to “The Toast” for inadvertently mentioning our beautiful Miss Evan. Even unknowingly. I’d like to take this opportunity to say…

I’m sure Miss Evan would have been a toaster. She always had a great sense of humor. And I’d like to believe Miss Evan hears everything. So, I’m sure she’s up in heaven having a good laugh right now. No, her dad is not dating anyone but me.